


Four times Jared wasn't the most childish person in the room (and one time he was)

by atimi (bertee)



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Five Times, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-23
Updated: 2009-09-23
Packaged: 2017-11-02 03:43:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/364596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bertee/pseuds/atimi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared has mixed results when dealing with small children.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four times Jared wasn't the most childish person in the room (and one time he was)

**Vancouver, September 2005**

"How is this not illegal?"

Sitting in the chair beside him, Jensen stopped munching his way through his lunch and answered through a mouthful of chicken salad, "It is illegal. Kripke bribed the cops not to raid the set this morning."

Jared sniggered and chomped down another bite of his pasta. "Because the show's budget stretches to bribery?"

Smirking, Jensen glanced sideways at him. "Never said he used money."

"Oh, come on!" He wrinkled his nose in disgust and smacked Jensen on the arm. "I'm eating, dude. I don't need to be thinking about Kripke offering sexual favors to cops. Especially in exchange for shutting a small child in a fridge."

"Sorry, man." Looking back at the set in front of them, Jensen shrugged. "S'not like the kid's actually in danger. I mean, the fridge isn't even turned on and his mom's right there."

Watching the boy's mother settle him in the convenient, toddler-sized space in the refrigerator, Jared had to admit Jensen had a point. "Okay, so it's not going to kill him, but he might get scarred for life from being shoved in there. What if he grows up and has a fear of fridges? If my mom left me in a fridge when I was little, I'd never eat cold food again."

"Liar," Jensen retorted confidently. "If your mom even left the fridge door open when you were a kid, you'd have climbed in and eaten everything you could find."

The fact that Jared's response of "Shut up" was muffled by a mouthful of pasta didn't help his cause any.

Jensen chuckled, setting his mostly empty food box on the ground and watching the cameras track the kid's progress on set as he inquired, "So what were you like as a kid? Is your inability to sit still a problem you've had since childhood?"

Realizing he was fidgeting, Jared forced himself to remain stationary while he replied, "I don't know. I think I was a pretty active kid but all my momma says is that I was a smiley baby."

"A smiley baby?"

"Yeah." He grinned at him, just in case Jensen wasn't sure what a smile looked like. "I smiled a lot, y'know? My mom says I'd sit there in my chair or on her lap or whatever and just give everyone big, goofy, baby smiles."

"Glad to see so much has changed."

"Hey!" He fixed him with a mock-glare. "I'm an actor now, dude. I've branched out to goofy grins and emo angst."

On set, the refrigerator kid started to wail, evidently fed up with being lured into position with the promise of food and then being denied the edible reward.

Only a tiny bit jealous that this kid had apparently mastered emo angst by age two, Jared changed the subject. "What about you? What were you like as a kid?"

"I-"

"Wait, let me guess," Jared interrupted, smiling as the little boy on set was hoisted up into his mother's arms and hugged. "You were a serious baby. You'd be all pouty and intense, and stare people down until they surrendered and gave you cuddle-time."

"Hey, I was a cute baby," Jensen returned, kicking back in his chair with a certain degree of smugness. "I got cuddle-time without having to try."

 

+++

 

**Vancouver, December 2008**

 

"What about that one?"

"That's a glittery purple reindeer, Jared."

"What's your point?"

Jensen sighed, looking between his boyfriend and the huge, store-decorated Christmas tree, and offered a compromise, "We can get some glittery silver reindeers if you want, but the rest of the decorations need to be normal."

"You calling my reindeers freaks?" Jared huffed in mock-offense before another sparkly decoration caught his eye. "Ooh, there's a red one too." Crouching down to grab the scarlet reindeer off the tree, he asked happily, "Can we get red ones-"

Something under the tree shifted suddenly and Jared jumped, losing balance and falling back onto his ass with a surprised yelp.

There was an answering cry of panic from under the tree and, feeling outdone, Jared yelled again before scrambling to his feet and looking to Jensen, who appeared amused but undisturbed. "What the hell was that?"

Hitching sobs arose from beneath the branches and it was Jensen's turn to crouch and report back, "It's a kid."

Glad to know that he wasn't about to be devoured by a Christmas tree monster, Jared knelt down next to Jensen, lifting up the branches and flashing a reassuring smile at the little girl who was curled up against the trunk of the tree in tears. "Hey, sweetheart."

He felt a rush of success when the wailing stopped but this was soon replaced with unease when the girl didn't speak and just stared at him with wide, tearful brown eyes.

Trying not to terrify the kid any more than he already had, he asked, "Are you playing hide and go seek?"

She shook her head, her bright pink bandanna slipping down over her eyes until she pushed it back up and whispered between tears, "I lost my Daddy." She sniffled, curling up into a tighter ball as more words came spilling out. "I want Santa to come take me home. Daddy put a sign there so Santa knows where to put presents and I wanna go home."

Jared's heart clenched in sympathy and he was glad when Jensen spoke up, keeping his voice low and soothing as he said, "Santa's pretty busy right now but maybe we could help you out. I bet your Daddy's looking everywhere for you right now; you want us to help you find him?"

The little girl hesitated, tears still slipping down her round cheeks, and Jared tried a different approach, "My name's Jared and this is Jensen." Jensen gave an uncertain little wave that Jared found oddly endearing, but he focused on the scared child rather than his sort-of-awesome boyfriend. "What's your name, sweetheart?"

"Sheree," she answered tentatively and Jared rewarded the answer with a grin.

"All right, Sheree, you want to scoot on out of there so we can go ask someone where your Daddy is?"

He almost cheered in triumph when, after a thoughtful pause, Sheree shuffled forward, wiping at her eyes and sniffing miserably.

"Good girl," Jared praised, taking her smaller hand in his and looking round for a store employee to give them some guidelines on what to do with a missing child.

"Jay."

Jared's gaze jumped back to Jensen who nodded in the direction of a stand of Christmas stockings where a worried-looking man was talking quickly to a woman in a store uniform.

Leaning down to speak to his current charge, he asked knowingly, "Sheree? Is that your Daddy?"

He soon learned how easy it was to lose a kid in a store when Sheree's face lit up with a delighted smile. Her hand slipped free from his as she dashed across the shop floor with a joyful shout.

"Daddy!"

Jensen raised his eyebrows at Jared. "Nice job making sure she didn't get lost again."

"Screw you," Jared replied, watching with a grin he knew Jensen mirrored as Sheree's father spotted his prodigal daughter and caught her in his arms, hugging her close as she wrapped her own little arms around his neck out of a desperate need for comfort.

Her father rocked her, looking more relieved than she was as he murmured something into her ear, and Jared managed a nod of acknowledgement when the man followed Sheree's wildly gesturing hand to where Jared and Jensen were standing.

They wandered over, wanting to reassure the guy that they were good Samaritans rather than creepy kidnappers, but quickly realized they shouldn't have worried when Sheree's father shifted his daughter to rest on one hip and shook their hands, saying sincerely, "Thank you so much, guys. I just- I turned around and she wasn't there and- Thank you. Really."

"Thank you, Jered and Jansen!" Sheree chimed in happily before snuggling close to her father again.

Neither Jared nor Jensen had the heart to correct her. When the other two turned away to reassure the store employee that the panic was over, Jared leaned in to Jensen and suggested hopefully, "Can we get a baby instead of glittery reindeers?"

Jensen still had a dazed look in his eyes as he watched Sheree and her father depart and Jared's heart soared when he replied absently, "Maybe next year."

 

+++

 

**Los Angeles, August 2011**

 

Tiny fingers curled around Jared's pinky and he watched the baby's big blue eyes go wide in amazement as he wiggled his finger in her grip.

Sitting on the opposite sofa, Genevieve commented fondly, "Think she likes you, big guy."

Jared chuckled, his grin broadening at the confused expression on baby Marie's face at the vibrations from his chest. "Trust me, the feeling's mutual. How old is she now?"

"Six months." She ran a hand through her hair and yawned. "She's still not getting the idea that Mommy and Daddy need sleep too but other than that, she's great."

Jared tapped the baby's nose and fanned his fingers out in her face as she giggled and reached up to bat at them. "Honest to God, I have no idea how she could be annoying. Like, I'd be cranky if I got woken up but then I'd look at her squishy little face and I wouldn't care about anything."

Genevieve smiled ruefully. "Oh, you say that now. I should let you and Jensen take her for a couple of days and see how long you last before you turn into zombies."

Remembering how his boyfriend was so very not a morning person, Jared figured this wasn't such a good plan. "Eh, I'll pass." He lifted Marie and held her up to his eye level as he said in a playful voice, "I think I'll just keep coming to play with you in the daytime, hmm? Your Mommy and Daddy can have the fun of putting you to bed."

Marie giggled again, sounding almost mischievous, and Jared planted a loud wet kiss on her forehead before settling her back in his arms and asking her mother, "Do you and Matt have shifts at night?"

Genevieve shrugged, looking sleepily content as she watched him rock the baby. "Sometimes. If she's crying, it usually wakes us both up but whoever doesn't have work the next day gets up to take care of her."

Kept amused by the tiny bundle in his arms, Jared smoothed her dark hair off her forehead and let her grasp at his finger again. "She's really beautiful, Gen."

Genevieve smiled, tired but proud. "Thank you."

Tiny lines appeared between the baby's eyebrows and Jared returned the frown when he saw Marie pout and scrunch up her nose in concentration. "What's that face for, huh? What are you thinking so hard about in that head of yours?"

He looked to Genevieve for guidance but only got a smirk in return. "That'd be her poop face. She'll have a full diaper in a minute."

Jared regarded the baby's poop face for a long moment before his smile couldn't be held back any longer and he teased, "Pooping's fun, isn't it, sweetheart? Yes, it is. Yes, it is."

The sound of Genevieve's good-natured sigh was drowned out by the baby's enthusiastic gurgle of agreement. Pooping was apparently awesome.

 

**+++**

 

Los Angeles, March 2014

 

""Oh, no!" shouted Marty, the heroic ninja cheetah. "The rhino's coming! Prepare your peashooters!""

"The rhino?" Snuggled down in his bed, Ben looked up at Jared, who paused the story and waited for the inevitable questions the five-year-old never failed to come up with. Sure enough, Ben asked with wide-eyed curiosity, "What's the rhino called?"

"Phyllis," Jared supplied easily.

"Phyllis?" Ben wrinkled his nose, still smiling. "That's a weird name."

"What, weirder than 'Ben'?" Jared teased.

Ben nodded vehemently, blond hair falling over his eyes. "Uh-huh."

"Weirder than 'Jared'?"

"Yep."

"Weirder than 'Jensen'?" He grinned when Ben halted mid-nod and laughed instead. "Guess not."

"What did Phyllis the rhino do, Dad?" Ben asked, curling into Jared's side and yawning widely. "Did she trample Marty?"

"Nope. Marty and the rest of the ninja cheetahs joined up with his friend, Bob the hyena, and they armed themselves with peashooters. Phyllis came stomping down the plain-" He mimed heavy rhino feet walking up Ben's jungle-themed comforter. "-and bellowed that "No-one will rule the plains but me!""

Ben laughed at Jared's suitably impressive rhino voice but his eyes started to fall shut as Jared continued, "But Marty and Bob and the cheetahs were ready for her. On Marty's signal, they all shot peas out of their peashooters and splattered them all down Phyllis' side. Phyllis screamed and shrieked, "Oh no! Not the peas! Anything but the peas! I hate vegetables!" and turned tail and ran away. She was too scared of peas to ever come back again and Marty and his friends had the land all to themselves."

Expecting some kind of cheer from his adopted son, Jared was surprised to find that the response came from the open door of the bedroom. Jensen leaned against the doorframe, evidently perfecting his golf clap as he applauded slowly and commented, "Nice ending you've got there. 'Eat your vegetables, stop marauding rhinos'?"

Seeing that Ben was now fast asleep on his pillow, Jared eased himself out of the bed and crept out of the bedroom. He closed the door behind him and kissed Jensen briefly on the lips before teasing, "Hey, I didn't hear you coming up with any stories, Dad."

"I was picking up his toys," Jensen defended. "But I did get here in time to hear you making fun of my name. Asshole."

"Shhh," Jared chided, resting his hands on Jensen's hips. "No swearing in front of Ben."

Jensen lifted his chin in a playful challenge and spoke again Jared's lips, "Maybe you should help keep me quiet."

"I can do that."

He sealed his lips over Jensen's before either of them could say any more and backed them down the corridor, away from their son's bedroom and towards their own.

 

+++

 

**Texas State Fair, September 1988**

 

After pushing his way through the forest of legs which blocked his view, Jared peered through the fence, his lips parting in astonishment as he watched a horse leap the tallest obstacle in the arena.

"Wow..." Speaking to himself rather than anyone else, he pushed his bangs out of his eyes and watched more with the murmured observation, "The fence is five feet tall!"

"My brother says that one's six and a half."

Jared started at the voice from beside him and looked up to see another, older kid looking through the fence beside him. "Huh?"

The other kid seemed equally surprised by his response and Jared watched a pink flush spread across the boy's cheeks, resisting the urge to reach up and poke curiously at the freckles that covered the bridge of his nose.

"My brother was telling me that the biggest fences are higher than six whole feet tall," the older boy repeated, sounding as impressed as Jared was.

"Six feet?!" Jared stared again, trying to fathom how anything could possibly be that tall. "Wow. That's really high."

The horse in the arena retired to applause from the audience and Jared turned to the other boy while the crowd waited for another contender to come out. "Does your brother know lots about horses and stuff?"

The older boy snorted and said sullenly, "He thinks he does."

Thinking about his own brother, Jared knew how the boy felt. "I've got an annoying brother too." Deciding he'd made a friend, he stuck out his hand like his momma had taught him and introduced himself cheerfully, "Hi. I'm Jared Padalecki."

The bigger boy looked at him skeptically but shook Jared's hand regardless. "Hi." He smiled. "You've got a really long name."

Jared nodded in agreement and complained, "S'really hard to spell." They let go of each other's hands and Jared frowned when he realized he'd missed something. "Wait, what's your name?"

The answer came from somewhere in the crowd behind them when someone called, "Jensen! Let's go!"

Jared's face fell when the older boy, who he now knew was called Jensen, turned away from the fence and towards the crowd.

"D'you need to go?" he asked, surprised to realize how sad he was to be losing his companion. "There's another horse coming out now."

Jensen seemed equally sad when he nodded. "That's my brother; I've gotta go." He smiled, some of his freckles bunching into the crinkles around his eyes. "Bye, Jared."

Another horse and jockey came galloping out into the arena but Jared watched Jensen instead.

Jensen pushed through the crowd of grown-ups and Jared shouted loudly before he vanished from sight completely, "Bye, Jensen!"


End file.
